Wednesday, December 25, 2013

God bless us, every one!

Christmas at the Yossarian's has always been a grueling mind fuck.  We learned at a young age to jabber excitedly about socks, banana chips, stirrup pants, and long johns.  We'd pretend that those cruelties were exactly what we had written santa for.

"A summer sausage gift basket and a sweatshirt!  He got my letter!"

We weren't poor, we could have just as easily had our dreams come true for the same amount of dough spent on our shitty gifts.  The problem wasn't money.  The problem was my mom.

The thing is this, my mom is a rotten passive aggressive cunt who raised all of her children with the love and skill of a sadistic 11yr old babysitter who wasn't being paid to stay late.  Every situation became a perverse opportunity to teach us a lesson about the harshness of the world.  We trained like spartan warriors, bench pressing disappointment and stifling pain.  No preference of ours went unchallenged, no pleasure uncrushed, no hope could live.

"That's life in the big city"

Well I've been in the big city since that bitch kicked me out and changed the locks twenty years ago, and she's still the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

I guess what i'm trying to say is, merry christmas!

26 comments:

  1. Nothing can take away those memories, nothing can transform those bad experiences with better ones, but you have a lot of people who care about you, friends who love you, who would take the place of that mother who didn't fill your life with joy, if they could. Not me though; I wouldn't look good with hair curlers and an apron.

    Okay, so I would. (((hugs)))

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  2. I want to wish you the best christmas you can have and I will pray for you to have a wonderful new year.

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  3. I empathize and relate to your blog . Some people just dont get it , and probably should not parent children . Thank you for writing about your reality and not what people want to read . I hope your christmas got better , just know you are not alone .

    MERRY CHRISTMAS

    STEVE

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    1. thanks for the empathy, steve, merry christmas!

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  4. We really have not much control of our lives while we are children. Nor can we chose the hands dealt to us. The mere fact you have found your voice,albeit with an angry bitter tongue, tells me you are ready to move forward. We cannot control the things in our past. But be can control how we react to them. You know you had some shitty times. I appreciate you for being open. Everyone who knows you needs to understand why you bear this bitterness. I hope the years to come will offer reason for happiness for you, in such a way, the past will seen less traumatic. I too, have a mother like yours. I won't go into detail. But do know this, we are all sisters and feel free to vent. Happy Holidays Dear. It takes only one nice act to change the world.

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    1. that's true, we play the hands we're dealt. i think most of the people i know are still recovering from their childhoods. merry christmas!

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  5. I know Christmas is over but you have one of the greatest gifts, one that cannot be found under the Christmas tree! You have a way with words, you can write, express yourself! I have always struggled with putting things to paper. Now might be the time to make for yourself your own Christmas memories - there is pleasure and hope out there for you.
    I wish you you a very happy and healthy New Year!


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    1. thank you so much! i don't know about your way with words but you have a way with compliments lol, merry christmas!

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  6. Sorry to hear that you went through all this as you were growing up. No one deserves that at all. I regularly got put down and beat up from my step dad.He was a real Prick.what I am trying to say is keep your head up high and look at the better person you have become in Life, Merry Christmas.

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    1. your step-dad sounds like a real asshole, the world is full of people who see kids as an inconvenience. glad you made it to adult-hood, merry christmas!

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  7. They say what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.... You seem a very strong person to me with a strong personality, a strong mind and a strong inner strength to make a better life for yourself. I wish you the strength to continue!

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  8. Hulia .,There are a lot of bad people in the world and parents are no exception. If we learn from our parents and don't do what they did to us then we are better people because of what they did.It was wrong for your mom to treat you this way and someday maybe you will be able to for give .Advice is easy ,but please hold the things you love in your heart and God will know you tried . Your mom may have won the battle she started years ago but don't let her win the war. God Bless you and keep you safe. Merry Christmas my heart goes with you . May the joy of Christmas over come the miserable childhood .

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    1. thank you and god bless you and keep you as well, merry christmas!

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  9. how true, life is not always like TV perfect families some people are pathetic parents who have no idea about loving children and being good role models. Thank goodness you survived.

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    1. lol i have my battle scars, we all do, but we're here, merry christmas!

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  10. Life can be cruel and lonely at times; I know ; but you sound like a strong person and can rise above it;;

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  11. HISTORY REPEATS--However, I am sure, with some professional help, you will be a great Mom and also acquire the skills to minimize those awful memories. God Bless You!!

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    1. uh, merry christmas and a happy new year!

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  12. so sorry to hear of such a mother, a mother should guide her kids in a healthy way not this way. but so sorry to hear what you went through. at least you are away from it now.have yourself a happy new year

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    1. thanks, you have a great new year too!

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  13. Hulia there are many of us out there that have had some harsh judgements dealt to us in our life time..and the secret is to take those "lessons" and rid them from your heart and soul. Do kind things for yourself and others just because...don't give her another day in your mind and soul. Live love laugh and enjoy the simple things in life, the people that care for you will always be there no matter what.

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    1. thanks, and you're right, she deserves no more time, merry christmas!

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